I'm Gonna Love You Tonight
by gneebee
Summary: They had an instant attraction and what seemed like the perfect romance, until he changed so much and then ended it, breaking her heart. Can he convince her to give him one more chance? Rick Grimes, Beth Greene AU


**A/N Texasbelle91 asked me to write a Brick fic with the prompt: Lee Ann Womack's song "I May Hate Myself in the Morning." I hope you all enjoy this one shot Rick and Beth.**

He knew he shouldn't call her, damn, they'd been down this road enough, he'd been a total asshole to her way too many times.

When had he become that guy? Oh sure, he could take the easy way out and blame Lori, like he wasn't responsible for his own actions, but he knew better than that. Yeah, Lori had turned out to be everything he never wanted in a wife, a world class cheater and a neglectful mother. When she got pregnant with his best friends' child, well that was the deal breaker of all deal breakers.

But that sure as hell didn't give him the right to treat the sweetest, the best woman he'd ever known like she was nothing to him, worse than nothing. He'd been cruel when he'd broken it off with her. He couldn't believe it himself. He couldn't just call it quits, oh no, he had to make sure he hurt her as much as possible, the way he'd been hurt. But never by her, no, she'd been the best thing that ever happened to him, and he'd never treated anyone worse.

Well, it had come back to bite him hard, and he couldn't deny he deserved every bit of this pain he was feeling. He earned it 100 times over. He'd had the very best and he'd tossed it away. He deserved his misery. He realized way too late how much he loved her, how much he needed her, but she was done. The last time he'd called she refused to see him, she told him never again, she was through, over it, over him.

xxxx

She'd picked up that phone and set it back down a 100 times. She knew better than to call him, she knew he'd hurt her, just like he hurt her every time. Oh sure, it always started out the same, warm, loving, sexy. He was a real charmer that man, and that sweet endearing smile just made it all seem so sincere. Then boom, right when she'd start to think things were going so wonderfully, that they had such a strong and true relationship, he'd break her heart again. And the worst part of that was, this man who had been so sweet, so kind, so everything that was good, would become the meanest person she'd ever known. It was like he went out of his way to hurt her.

But he wasn't the only one to blame, she was the one who kept giving him another chance, and when he didn't call her for a couple of weeks she followed her own very self-destructive path, she'd open that bottle of wine, turn on some sad country music and soon she was calling him, asking him if he'd like to come over.

Oh sure, he'd rush right over, and it would be sweet, and it would be fun, and the sex would be great, and then he'd act like it hadn't meant a thing to him, and she supposed it hadn't, and he'd leave. She'd end up lonelier than ever, feeling sad and guilty.

Did she really want to put herself through that again?

Of course he'd done the same, he'd have a couple of drinks and call her, be so charming on the phone, ask her to come to his place and have a drink with him, just to talk and maybe watch a movie. But it always ended up the same, she'd give in, sleep with him, and in the morning he'd act like they were just some kind of "friends with benefits" deal. She was such a soft touch, she'd fall for his B.S every time, end up sad, lonely, guilty and hating herself.

What she didn't know, was that he felt the same way about himself.

 _18 Months Earlier_

She'd only been in town two weeks. She had her degree, and she didn't want to move back to the farm, but she knew she probably wasn't well suited to big city life, like Atlanta, Columbus or Augusta. No, she was always going to be a small town girl. Heck, this town of 50,000 seemed huge to her.

She'd taken a job as Office Manager at a Real Estate agency, a branch office for the largest Realty Company in the state. She hoped to get her Realtor's license eventually, for some unknown reason it sounded fun. It also seemed to be a great career for women, where they were on a more even playing field with men.

The agency had a booth at the County Fair, they were handing out cool little packets of free goodies, maps of Georgia, a notepad and pen, mini flashlight, mini phone charger, tape measure. What she suspected was, most people would take anything you were willing to hand out free, but the Broker had explained it to her. It was all about the name recognition, meeting people, establishing "friendships", so when it came time to buy or sell, they'd think of the firm's name and give a call.

As the newest employee, and one who wasn't a Realtor, they'd given her the worst shift to work the booth, 10:00a, to 2:00 pm on Sunday. Things would be slow, most folks would either be at church, or trying to make other folks think they were at church.

She'd been straightening up in the booth, like she'd done several times already, even though it didn't need it. She'd only been there 30 minutes, when he stopped by. "Hi there, name's Rick Grimes, I don't think I know you." Those eyes, holy cow, those eyes were so blue, and the way he looked at her, if this Georgia heat didn't melt her, that look would.

"Hi there, I'm Beth Greene. I'm sure we haven't met I've only been in town two weeks. I'm guessing by the uniform, you're the County Sheriff.

"That's me. So Beth Greene, are you a Realtor, or just helping out?" He was definitely interested in this woman, and not for her talent as a real estate agent. She was beautiful, that hair, yeah he could just imagine running his fingers through that mass of long blond curls, and the beautiful eyes, the whole damn package. Yeah, he was going to get to know this one.

"I'm the office manager, but I'd like to be a Realtor someday. This is a wonderful opportunity for me to learn the business from the ground up. So far, I'm enjoying it very much." She smiled that big sweet smile at him, and he knew he had to have a taste of those lips. "How long are you working the booth?"

"Until 2:00, then I'm off for the day." Oh my gosh, he cocked that head to the side, flashed her a big smile and dang, those piercing blue eyes.

"Could I take you out for a bite to eat later? Nothing too fancy, just somewhere casual where we can talk, maybe get to know each other a little." Wow, he didn't waste time, but she didn't mind at all. And he was the Sheriff, surely she had nothing to worry about.

And so it had begun, it was everything she'd ever imagined a whirlwind romance or love at first sight could be. They saw each other nearly every day. They talked on the phone at least twice each day. He was thoughtful, loving, romantic, and she was sure this was the real deal, that they'd end up married, living in a cute little house in town, raising a couple of babies – real Americana, real small town life. She told herself that was why she'd given in to his desire so soon, truth be told, it was her desire too, and she had sex with him.

At first everything was so special, he treated her like gold. She felt loved, cherished, wanted. He was everything a lover should be. But then he'd started to find fault with her, little things, lots and lots of little things.

He complained constantly about her hair, her make-up – always too much or too little, her clothes, her taste in music, her cooking, she felt she could do nothing right.

Then he ended it, told her she had been the biggest mistake of his life, that he'd let her cute little innocent look deceive him, that she wasn't the woman he thought she was, and he had no interest in continuing the charade.

She'd been devastated. At first she blamed herself, like it was all her fault, like all his criticisms of her were well founded, like she was a failure.

A couple of very long phone calls with Maggie had convinced her it wasn't her, it was him. "It's one of two things Bethie, he's either the biggest jerk that has ever walked on earth – and that's the one I'm leaning toward, or he's so damned afraid of this relationship he screws up the best thing he ever had going. Either way, you don't need that heartless bastard in your life Sweetie, he's not for you. There are way too many great guys out there that would give their eye teeth to have a woman like you. Forget the Sheriff, find a man closer to your own age, find your happiness Beth."

xxxx

After a few weeks she'd begun to date. She didn't really feel interested in meeting "Mr. Right" but she agreed with Maggie, she needed to get a toe back in the water, start dating again, be social and have some fun.

She was out with Zach, he worked at the Title Office. He was handsome, fun and very sweet. She felt a little guilty, she knew he really liked her, and her feelings for him were more on the friendly side than the romance side, but Maggie had convinced her to hang in for a few dates, maybe her feelings for Zach would grow. Maybe she could finally put Rick Grimes in her rear view.

She and Zach had gone to an early movie and were having a drink at that new hipster bar, just checking things out. They were sharing a laugh about the movie they'd seen when he walked in, his eyes immediately landing on her. She gave him a big bright smile, like life was perfect, and what was so great was at the same time, Zach had put an arm around her shoulders. She could tell by his look, Rick Grimes was not a happy man. He turned and left the bar.

That was when two things became perfectly clear to her. She needed to tell Zach she couldn't see him anymore. He was so nice, she didn't want to hurt him the way Rick had hurt her, she didn't want to be that person. They were only three dates in, she knew he'd be sad, but his recovery would be quick, there were plenty of girls waiting in the wings for a wonderful guy like Zach.

The other thing was, no more Rick. The only way she was ever going to get over him and on with her life was if she quit this little game they were playing. These drinks and phone calls every few weeks, this seeking comfort only to hurt worse when it was over. No more. She just couldn't keep doing this to herself.

She controlled the action, and this time her mind was made up, she was resolved.

Sure enough, he called late that night, more drunk than she'd ever heard him, "Come over Beth, I miss you so much, I just want to hold you, show you how much you mean to me."

"No Rick, I'm not doing that anymore, not tonight, not ever. I would really appreciate it if you wouldn't ever call me again. I'm moving on with my life, you should do the same for yourself. We're poison to each other. Goodbye Rick, I wish you a very happy life." And she hung up.

He couldn't fucking believe it. She'd always been there for him, always given him that one more chance. What was all this about? Some boy she was dating, some wet behind the ears kid? She'd rather be with that guy? Although he had to admit Zach, yeah he knew who the guy was, he was a good guy, he had a great job, he was a real up and comer, and he'd looked at Beth like she hung the moon. Like he should have been looking at her.

He tried calling her a few more times, sober, drunk and somewhere in between, every time she told him "No," it was done, she was done. At first he was pissed at her. Who did she think she was trying to kid? He knew she loved him. But then he started to doubt that, why would she love him? He'd been the most perfect of all assholes. He'd had a woman other men would kill to have, she'd loved him, treated him like a king, and he'd turned into such a jerk. There was no excuse, never would be an excuse for the way he'd let himself treat her.

It was so hard, every time he called it was all she could do to tell him no, it was over. She still loved him, as stupid as she knew that was, she couldn't help herself. But she'd made up her mind, she had to start protecting herself, she'd allowed him to hurt her way too many times. She took her share of the blame, he couldn't have done it if she didn't allow it. Oh man, it hurt so bad to think it was really over.

But things did start to get a little better. She signed up for a couple of night courses and was studying hard for her real estate exams. Her broker was sure Beth would be a great agent; she had a face everyone would trust, and the sweetest, most non-intimidating way about her. The broker had given Beth plenty of guidance and encouragement.

He was completely miserable, there was no way to put lipstick on this, he'd fucked up royally. He had to figure out a way to make it right, he had to try to win her back. Dammit, he loved her he wanted her, he wanted her the right way, wanted to care for her, be there for her, treat her the way he once had, the way he should have continued to treat her.

He got into counseling, learned a lot about him and why he did the things he did. He worked on his flaws, his faults. He quit blaming Lori, Shane, Beth, his father. He started looking at Rick Grimes. It was tough to call himself out, but he needed to get better. He needed to get whole again.

She'd tried going out with a couple of different guys since Zach, but there was just no real interest, not the least little bit of a spark. She still loved Rick, in spite of everything.

She decided she should get some counseling. She joined a small women's group. They met twice a week over the lunch hour. It helped so much. Although he had acted so, so badly she came to see the part she had played in their little dance, that although he may have been a jerk, she certainly had to take responsibility as well.

They both found that once they'd accepted their share of the responsibility, they were still heartbroken but they somehow felt better.

Then one morning her favorite deli delivered her hot tea, just the way she liked it with honey and milk, and a her favorite muffin, lemon poppy seed. There was a note inside. "Please Beth, please just talk to me, nothing more, just talk. I promise, Rick."

Simultaneously her heart skipped a beat and her stomach lurched. She wanted to call him, say yes, but she didn't. She couldn't.

Saturday morning, a small floral arrangement was delivered to her apartment, nothing fancy, just a beautiful little spring bouquet, the sort of thing she was always drawn to. There was a note, "I know I don't deserve it, I just want a chance to talk, I promise. Please Beth, please just talk to me. Rick"

She hadn't cried in several weeks, but she lay down on her bed and cried then. She did want to see him, she did want to talk to him, more than she wanted anything. But she held back, she'd see if she couldn't wait this out.

He hadn't known what to do, he only knew he had to try anything and everything to at least have a conversation with her. Have his chance to apologize, to accept his responsibility in all of this, to ask her, beg her, to please consider starting fresh with him. Not where they'd left off, that was an awful place, but with a new beginning.

First he'd sent her the tea and muffin, it was a small gesture, and that was the point, it was the little things Beth loved. He'd been disappointed but not surprised when he didn't hear form her.

Then he'd sent the small spring bouquet. He could have gone big, sent the two dozen roses, but that wouldn't have been Beth. Beth liked things that were simple, natural. She was a down to earth person, it was one of the things he loved so much about her. Still no response.

There was only one more thing he could think of to try. He'd had the store wrap it up for him, he'd gotten a card and written in it, and he'd hired a messenger to deliver it to her. He prayed to God this was the thing that would finally get to her heart.

She almost panicked when the package was delivered; she'd already had so much trouble resisting. She didn't take a chance opening it right away at her desk. She waited until her break, for privacy, and took it out to the table on the back patio.

She opened the card first; there was no pre printed sentiment, just a lovely floral scene on the front. Inside he'd written, "I'm not trying to hurt you Beth, I did enough of that, I never want to ever hurt you again. All I want is a chance to see you, to talk to you, to apologize to you. Please Beth, please, just one meeting, neutral territory. No touching, just talking, I promise. Rick." She opened the package, and took in a deep breath, he knew her so well, even after all this time. It was a delicate antique music box. It was beautiful. Tears came to her eyes as her hands cradled the beautiful gift. Her resolve was shattered.

She called him after work, they agreed to meet in half an hour at the park. She was so nervous, she feared she may throw up.

What he'd prayed for had finally happened, and now he found that he was scared to death. The pressure was on, he didn't want to blow it.

When they saw each other, they both felt it, the electricity, the spark they'd always had, but neither of them acted on that. There was no touching, instead they sat on a park bench and they started to talk. They ended up talking until dark, when they walked to a small dinner and had something to eat. She insisted on paying for her own meal.

He walked her home, but he didn't go up to her place. They agreed to talk again on Saturday, they'd meet at the same park, same bench.

And so began the new start of Rick and Beth, they kept up their meetings at the park, twice a week for a month. Then they had a date night, dinner and a movie. That was the first time they touched, but it was just hand holding.

They moved into new territory, meeting at the park twice a week, once for lunch, and one evening each week after work. Date night on Saturdays, and a walk on Sunday afternoons. They were seeing a lot of each other, they weren't rekindling an old romance, they were building a new one. It was better, it was solid.

Six months in he told her, "I love you Beth, I always have, there's nothing I want more than to marry you, spend the rest of my life with you. Please think about it Beth, please."

"I don't have to think about it Rick, I love you too, and yes, yes."

 **A/N I hope you enjoyed this romance. Thanks for reading, I'd love to read your comments xo**


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